Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
My uncles bleeding, my brother has a black eye and my moms topless in the pool... How was your family cookout?
The bouncer said he wanted to but BBQ sauce on my legs. That Mystic tan has already paid for itself.
Are you pissed because you didn't get action, or the fact i got boned twice in public places tonight?
it would be nice to just get drunk, not hook up with anyone, and not die this weekend
I wonder if that one guy remembers you sticking salami to his forehead when he was passed out on new years eve.
using blue streamers we found on the bathroom floor was probably not the best substitute for toilet paper.
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
Dad got stoned the other day and bought us potty training seats for when we have children
I just realized I'm currently not eating carbs, drinking alcohol or having sex. 2014 is off to a horrible start.
So it turns out high me is very efficient. I set 5 alarms to remind me to do things, i made mac and cheese, and i wrote a poem. I'm going places.
Randomize
