I woke up to him trying to put his dick in my mouth. When I asked him what he was doing he said he was trying to make me stop snoring...
I just got off a plane from Mexico. At least 15 passengers dashed to the bathroom throughout the flight. Can you tell its spring break?
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
I was really disturbed by what initially appeared to be a dismembered head sitting beside you. Then I realized you were laying on her body.
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
duuuude the clock in this car says its 85 past 19.
dear god, who put you in a cab?
is it sad that i can honestly say it was the best birthday sex i've ever had and it was still terrible?
I'm going to shower the piss off me now. I feel like I was in an R. Kelly dream.
You screamed "there will be blood" and punched some random guy in the face. So no, we can't go back to that bar.
The drag queen we did coke with is going to be on Ru Paul's drag race. I feel so proud.
My one night stand just messaged me and said he is praying for me...
Ended up in some house where this dude has a $1200 leopard cat
How did i spend $200 last night?
Every time you went to get me a drink, you also came back with shots. Then you fell down the steps.
Randomize
