new number. flushed my phone last night when i puked, made B help me look for it for 2 hours.
Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
forgot a fork. i am eating fettucini alfredo with a comb that i rinsed off the the bathroom sink. eating alone in my car. life doesn't get any sadder than this
he made me have a moment of silence for the half of my ice cream cone i threw away.
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
I guess I just laid down next to him with the entire pot of mac n cheese and started giving him a handie with one hand and eating with the other
He passed out naked in my bathroom, then took a shower, then passed out again and then took another shower. Last time I let my brother visit.
A guy at one of our big accounts just said you probably dont remember meeting me saturday night ps you were right about those two girls being lesbian
I have a new philosophy. Fuck wearing bras, it's summertime.
Dave when you find that upper decker at your house its from me but its for Jill not you
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
Hey texans ride hard. He should have known what he was in for when I asked to sit on his face. The broken nose was a BADGE he just earned.
I think we have it figured out.. She's my wife when she's here and gives me advise on how to get ass when she's 1500 miles away.
Married dude I had an affair with 10yrs ago was at table next to us at dinner last nite. My mom asked him to take a pic of us & then commented how cute he was as they left. Do I tell her he’s got a huge D too?
I just remembered how you stole the slinky from me. Bitch, I will NEVER forgive you.
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