I just woke up in bed next to my teacher. Does that mean I'm passing now?
Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
when did we get so old that our friends started having LEGITIMATE children?
Just got arrested at PF changs. Happy New year, China
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
When we started taking double shots of vodka and chasing it with a lick of fruit roll-ups, I knew there'd be hell to pay in the morning.
while she was riding me, she looked at me and said "this is why mom told me learning how to ride a horse would be important for my future"
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
That's cool. At least the punch line of my story isn't I shit in a booth at Denny's.
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
We should give each other good-luck-on-your-finals head in the morning.
I don't know which I need first...a shower or a confessional.
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
Remember when we thought adulthood would be different than college?
It is different. We had hopes and dreams back then. Now we're just alcoholics.
Randomize
