it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
I'm going to use my one free fuck up card tonight.
What'd you do?
Its more like what im about to do.
everything was going good until you started showing off the pictures of poop you took with your phone
What time do you think the pilgrims started drinking? I want to be as accurate as possible.
All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs
I need to keep friends like you around just in case hell grades on a curve.
And then I saw the naval officer and gave up that whole new leaf thing
Bad news. Pictures just stimulated my memory and i just realized the stripper I hooked up with this weekend tasted like pizza.
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
She just called at a dance party, and you stopped mid puke to join. Another successful night.
I can't even be mad at customs in houstons airport anymore for missing my flight and having to stay overnight. Within an hour of meeting we did it at her place. Her last word being "glad I could show you real southern hospitality". I'm definitely coming back here someday
I'd give anything to be driving a pirate ship wearing nothing but a coconut bra and a grass skirt eating a pizza and watching dolphins jump in the waves. Dreams ya gotta have dreams
I just got yelled at by a stripper for being a tease.
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
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