I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
You showed the cops outside of the bar your boobs and then decided to go apologize to them. They admitted that the reason they hung out there was because of girls like you.
Bottle rocket just missed my head by about 3 inches. Of course I'm being safe
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
He was sitting at the table eating ice and said, "I'm pretty sure everyone in my family has nipples."
I just had a brazillian performed by a hungarian named olga. Im pretty sure she was trying to rip out my soul. You owe me a million orgasms
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
I'm not throwing down for dinner because I plan to have so much tequila I puke it up anyways. How much is a cab home?
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
Are we in any of the areas with tornados?
Dude, i don't even have pants on yet, it's too early to think about tornadoes.
On way back. With a shopping cart. Minimal casualties.
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
That pizza at 1 am literally tasted like I was eating an angel
This is why you arnt allowed in pet stores
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