She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
Did I ever tell you that the first person i made out with cried?
I got my half for the rent already.I called the cops on the drug dealer neighbor and got a 500 bucks as a reward
the people next to us in line are buying a 12 pack and a snuggie
Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
i need to buy one of the child leashes to wear at mardi gras or else im never making it out alive
I tried to take a photo for proof but couldn't hold my penis, camera, and measuring tape all at the same time.
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
Recycling day makes me feel more like an alcoholic than regular days.
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
He gave me a beer, petted my head, and called me kiddo.
We went the strip club and out of no where the waitress brings him over a quesadilla and a jäger bomb and says your usual!! He swore he had never been there before
You're the third Mark I've fucked in that bed.
So i came so hard i almost passed out, where has this vibrator been all my life?
Only in this town do you have a bridesmaid shortage due to pregnancies.
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