I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
I don't know how to say this, but I think you're a fucking bitch and the sooner you die I'll be happier.
Sorry- wrong number! :)
I just don't understand how my upright asian catholic roommate is getting more than me.
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
i wrote her a fucking poem. i better get laid for that
She showed up to the party with a live octopus and a 30 pack that was already half gone
I wish Samuel L. Jackson would narrate our bar crawls
When you're a bigshot ER surgeon and I'm a starving artist, I want you to remember who held your hair last night.
I was too drunk to remember throwing up so i probably didn't learn my lesson
I've found my soulmate with the cardboard Dos Equis man.
For both our sake, we've decided to ban watching combat sports before sex
...take a good look at your butthole.... then try matching it to any paint color on the Benjamin Moore color wheel....not gonna happen...
we're so committed to being not committed
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
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