Remember that time i walked in on your friend taking a huge shit?
Remember that time you hooked up with him?
I owe all of my success to double stuf oreos and weed.
we gave some random guy a shot for shoveling our sidewalk.
you started texting yourself and saying they were "divine messages from heaven" then you threw up on stacie's piano.
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
theres still like 7 beers in the gutter from the roof party we had last night. i dont know how we got up there. but we need to get those beers down.
Can I get a "hallelujah" for railing my pastors daughter last night?
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
It's always a good night until the penis tattoo makes an appearance
Fuck. I have to get my shit together by lunch. Mission impossible.
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
I wrote a list of things I enjoy doing. So far it says "get high and go to museums."
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
I’m doing tequila shots with lesbians. This isn’t how I planned my night but I’m not complaining
Randomize
