So drunk, too bad you don't want this
i feel like the prize bull at the rodeo. everybody got a ride, no one lasted more than 8 seconds and i'm pretty sure i kicked one of them in the ball sack
there's something so ridiculous to me about watching someone with glasses exercising. it's like watching a whore studying in the library. stop trying to be someone you're not.
my mom noticed the "toothpaste" stain on my tshirt...she repeatedly attempted to get it off by licking her thumb and rubbing it. See Jenn it obviously doesnt taste that bad...
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
I'm pretty sure I just had a convo with my hot pockets about how they weren't good enough for the oven.
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
He's like a unicorn and I just wanna domesticate him
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
It’s like a buffet of marriages! Every option is available to you!
I just gave them my two week notice. Now is the perfect time to fuck my boss's son
I walked in describing her boobs thinking I was talking to you only to hear dad say 'I remember when your moms were like that'. ALWAYS tell me when they get home early. Always
So many questions so I’ll prioritize. How did I survive last night?
Randomize
