two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
anyone who buys me chipotle gets an automatic hj
My mom's crying. That means it must be Christmas.
what part of “beer fountain” do you not understand
I seriously just found a rose petal in my vagina.
Just for future reference: milk is NOT a good mixer no matter how drunk you are.
His idea of romance is drunkenly leaving me dead dandelions on my car in the middle of the night
I used puppy pads next to the couch for her to throw up on....
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
Needs to be more caveman. "Me kill roommate. You watch. Then sex time with our genitals."
Only you could make a stripper uncomfortable by eye fucking her too much.
Also I feel like death. But like. In a good way
I woke up to the smell of shame and vomit in my hair... went to the bathroom to shower and passed out... woke back up naked with the blow dryer on... thanks for making my birthday a success
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
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