I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
the sex was like sticking it in a jar of mayonnaise
i love rice pilaf. whoever invented that i would give them a hug.
Dude!! Mom just asked me why you have 'boobies' hahaha
I hate my life
I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
The fact that he is from Canada is way more embarrassing than the fact that you met him on match.com
Leave it to us to have a family reunion in a bar bathroom
Dude you made a rodeo shot in beer pong won the game then got in the hot tub poured beer all over the side and screamed "hot tub time machine!"...
This hangover makes more sense now
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
Got back to find Sarah in her underwear eating peanut butter and watching Arrested Development with the thermostat at eighty.
If the fate of the world hinged on some chubby girl getting laid, the president would dispatch me with a fifth of Jameson immediately and then rest easy.
I'm crying watching Rihanna at the VMAs. Periods are a bitch
How are you feeling today?
Like Satan handed me a grenade and ass sandwich.
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