Racial profiling caused me to miss two cabs but the third cabs the charm - he's playing Jesus Music
i just saw some one pass a baby through the drive-thru window at dairy queen.
Valentines day isn't about being a couple in love..... It's about chocolate and faking orgasms.
Sit down my child. It's time you were told of my famous loss-of-virginity story entitled, "The Penis that Never Could."
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
We were so hungover we fell asleep in Goodyear waiting for them to fix her car. At 4 in the afternoon on a Sunday. The workers apparently didnt want to vacuum because they didn't want to wake us.
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
Okay, new plan. Get drunk, eat breadsticks. It's going to be great.
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
All the doctor said was why
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
He's a security blanket. A security blanket who FUCKS.
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