i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
Just did a shot to pluto being a planet again. I love science.
Whenever I said your name you screamed polo and did another shot.
You suck. You're fired. I need to find a less reasonable voice-of-reason.
She thought someone was breaking in but when I said it was me she got even angrier and threw a coffee mug at my head.
I'm not drunk enough to eat silly string
her best friend is in town and she told me that they used to fool around when they were drunk and I'd have to "help keep that from happening"
you motherfucker
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
Nothing says thanksgiving like acid flashbacks
She busted her face in a tragic twerking accident. Marking the 2nd time I have peed my pants laughing.
Look bro I'll go half per boob with you, we split her.
I sent him a cookie cake that said "Congratulations you're not a father"
Why is there a business card for people who need bail bonds in my wallet...
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
Randomize
