But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
Oh fyi, I gave your card to a homeless guy last night and told him you were the world's hottest blonde girl who only likes black men...Sorry
This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
work has become about six times more interesting since i started fucking my boss.
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
Just found dollar bills in my sheets. What part of the weekend am I forgetting?
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
I'm drunk eating a quesadilla while this kid is tryina come over and I'm just like no. I want the quesadilla.
I'm at my friends house alone, she's at spin class so I'm wearing her engagement ring and eating buffalo wings. It's 9:30am. Happy Valentine's Day.
Three Decembers later, I'm looking at this fuckin Santa lingerie I bought and just realized my stocking never got stuffed....
I'm wearing jeans from 7th grade and drinking a fucking macchiato. This better be a good day.
Why is my belly button ring in my ear
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