Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
are you serious? he told me he had to cancel bc his grandma came into town
well unless his grandma is 21 and blonde, HE LIED TO YOU IDIOT
May God have mercy on my new vibrator.
I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
Getting drunk now, but later remind me to tell you how to crash an 8th grade grad party.
I'm eating mac and cheese for dinner that way when I puke later it'll be festive halloween orange.
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
The girls danced. I drank. Then I danced cause I was drunk. Then I ripped tim's shirt off cause I'm awesome.
Dude, we tried to feed you but you just started sobbing and ran away
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
Woke up with champagne in my hair and honey mustard on my hands. Strangely, I'm okau with this
I nicknamed her "Jackhammer" for the way she gave me a handjob. My balls were in constant pain
Not sure if I should ask if I can have my underwear back or just avoid that all together.
Randomize
