I wish I had more reasons to start sentences with the phrase, "Here's the thing you've got to remember about cougars ...
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
My entire childhood was an ugly sweater party
theres so much semen in my vacuum cleaner...
You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
Either your boy toy or the kid who pulled a knife on me in high school is here
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
When he pulled it out last night I asked if that was as hard as it was going to get. I think I may have offended him.
Since when do you jog?
Since hot shirtless guy that lives across the street jogs
It is such a beautiful day to not be arrested
What's the world record for number of orgasms reached on ones birthday? Asking for a friend.
After you punched me you ran away and it took an hour to find you... On the wrong floor... Sitting alone saying "it doesnt make sense"
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
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