id be glad to
I found her under my bed eating airplane pretzels.
I got spanked with a cardboard tube. Apparently he used to be a percussionist. Who favored marching band tunes. It was weird.
He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday
Put you drinking hat aside for Tuesday. My buddy is bartending!
I just puked in my drinking hat.
You know he really cares when he gives you one of those on-the-go toothbrushes for your walk of shame before running to work
Dude. I realize why I got sick. 8 shots three beers in an hour. Plus I ate an expired lunchable earlier.
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
Did your surprise acid trip turn out well?
the reason i can drink whatever i want and you have a limit is because whiskey will never make my pussy not work
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
Dude you better come get your girl, she's sitting here eating a tub of pasta salad muttering to herself about gypsies.
What was my myspace song when I went away to rehab?
Her tits are so fantastic they gave him a panic attack.
Randomize
