smell like capt'n and strawberry champagne
they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
My boobs are too big for things to be going this downhill in my life.
I was literally just a half conscious dildo.
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
No, this time she was diabetic. I think I fucked her into diabetic shock.
I'm allowed to be upset. I've never had that many fingers in my ass
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
Over 50% of the drunkest nights I have ever had began with me saying "I'll just drink my dinner" to you.
Seriously you've eaten pizza pockets for every meal for the past 4 days
Well to be fair I wasn't alive for breakfast 2 out of 4 days
I've had to take two showers today and it's not even 1 o'clock. Why won't this weekend wash off?
ICE CREAM AND CAKE BITCHESSSSSS
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