i was just at lovers lane looking for gifts for a bachelorette party.....with my mom
Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
Best walk of shame ever - Brown Hennesy shirt, bright blue overly large basketball shorts, stilettos from night before - ended up buying a ton of 40's and a 30 pack of coors.
Where are you?
A place I should not be.
We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
It's that whole "half Japanese, half asshole" thing. My brother and I have found that people really go for that
Gay bathhouses. They're actually a thing. So god does exist. And he doesn't hate me as much as you think he does
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
Because it's not worth it. And there is no nice way of saying "sorry, you're not good enough at sex for me to drive 45 mins"
She woke up next me in bed and told me to stop driving so fast.
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
I'm giving drunk me full control of my body for the next few days. Please don't let me die.
I TAUGHT HER CAT TO SIT. CATS DON'T FUCKING SIT ON COMMAND. BUT THIS ONE DID!
It's basically my crowning achievement.
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
Randomize
