No idea how I passed that sobriety test.
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
We walked in and found his glass coffee table broken and you in the bathroom throwing up saying "What a bad first impression."
seriously who else gets carried home puking from a fucking mary kay party?
You're the only person I know who would say "we'll play it by ear" referring to a threesome
I put a toilet paper roll with my number on it by his face... hooking up is not happening
No. If you are gonna end this, you are gonna do it right. Not by getting bombed and falling on a strange penis. That was the old you.
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
My suggestion is that you just get high and set shit on fire
He offered me handsanitizer after a hand job, you can't tell me he's not perfect!
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
Mom just walked in on a bj. IT'S WHATEVER.
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
Randomize
