why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
Hes sobering up now. He was just really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while he was telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together..
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
I will also be strapping forties to the puppies.
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
I think a van full of parolees just blew me kisses. Thoughts?
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
Hey... Tell me if you remember differently, but nobody truly saw me naked, right?
There are both cum and chocolate stains on my sheets. Can't decide whether this is a new low or a new high.
I accidently sent a dick pic to the group chat with her family. Right after they all said it was a pleasure having me for dinner. Wana drink with me?
I think I may be going on too many job interviews. I've started to bring up Shonda Rhimes in my interview answers.
This is why you have to watch more Zombie movies- to prepare for End Times...
I LinkedIn messaged people about jobs when I was blacked out
scale of one to ten how loathsome is it to save my chocolate easter bunny to use for a topping on my edibles
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