i really wanted you to get laid last night and i didnt think you were going to. so i posted porn on your facebook.it made sense at 3am
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
It's a piss down the stairs of the hotel kind of night
why would you automatically assume i'm high...
you just told me you're eating the powder of a lemonade mix.
I wish there were birth control emojis
i know you're at the dentist, but this dick pic was too phenominal to wait and i deserve immediate tit compensation
You should kill a bro for me and drag his carcass home so I can study him.
Spotted: shirtless guy wearing cut-off hot shorts, 1 cowboy boot and a sombrero puking in a bush while his friend yelled 'stop being a bitch" from the sidewalk'. Happy 4th of July 'merica!
Everything is covered in gelatin and pam cooking spray. Jesus be a shield.
My sex toys have been held in customs for almost a month now. They're British, what the hell?!?
We aren't doing Shrooms tonight bc that would be friendship cheating on you
Girl. There is no more toilet paper. You should have seen the twerking I just did to shake the pee off.
Also I like oatmeal more than sex.
Randomize
