It's only 11:30 and she's already making friends with the homeless...
I want him to rain dance my fallopian tubes.
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
So we played the stone cold theme song and continued to chug 2 beers at once and everyone just looked in shock
Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
Legitimately sent a work email with "Hey, you kids, get off my lawn" as the subject line.
If u ever apologize to me for "too-rough" sex again I will suspend ur all-access pass to my vagina indefinitely
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
I mean it could have been worse, I could have been sober.
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
Uber southern baptist grandma and uber flaming cousin just got into an argument about whether jesus is OK with gay marriage. Aren't these things only supposed to happen at Thanksgiving?
That's good to know, because I will be doing terrible things to you. Terrible things, John, wicked, evil, maniacal things shall happen to you and I will have the audacity to call it sex
STILL COMPLETELY OKAY WITH THIS
My ex-wife, who I haven't heard from since the divorce, just Amazoned me cherry flavored massage oil and a rainbow caps with the message "Happy Pride". What's the polite response?
Randomize
