I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
Do you think I can haggle my way to discounted weed on 4.21?
You know its bad when convincing your mother you were masturbating is the better alternative
Yes I want to fuck your friends but it's out of respect and love for you.
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
You were so drunk you decided to go out of the car window instead of using the door, once you realized what you had just done you said fuck it and went back in through the window
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
mike is out of commission and cannot make breakfast. he's sitting with two frozen waffles on his face & smiling like an idiot.
Man i fell asleep on a random persons porch on the way home and woke up to the family banging on the windows trying to wake me up
I woke up with jello shots in pant pockets so I must've had fun
i just realized I haven't been laid all summer. So sad. What a waste of a perfectly good vagina.
Trust me, I'm a professional lesbian.
Why do all my exes just become Tom Hanks in Castaway?
That's a fantastic question. And an odd set of criteria to meet if wanting to date you.
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
Randomize
