Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
explain to me why "crisis hotline lolz" is in my contacts?
I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
Just had to throw up on the floor of my car during traffic on the way to work. Car next to me saw both times. Found the downside to having a job right after graduation.
THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD LET ME CHUG VODKA.
I woke up in a poorly constructed blanket fort on a strange office floor covered in rug burns and champagne. How was your night?
Also I owe you 20 bucks, a clean towel and a glass of scotch. I'll even throw in a blow job
Well, maybe we can talk about it over a drink and some crushed up vicodin.
No alcohol sales on Election Day. WTF? Today, of all days, I need to be splurged to to vote for any of these morons running for president.
Just zoned back in to real life and found myself chanting "noodle eater noodle eater noodle eater" at my parrot as he devoured a single macaroni
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
Randomize
