like literally i think i'm sweating out semen right now
Just did free shots of tequila at a walmart. Hello Mexico
I can't cum and do my makeup at the same time.
Also, never say you're cool with a threesome if they ask. That shit's a trap.
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
I put tequila in my salad dressing yesterday. Step the fuck up.
Remember the bouncer that knocked out Dave and Sam? Apparently his day job is a florist. Uppercut and fresh cut in one package.
God this is like a meg Ryan movie without the restaurant orgasms
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
It's time you knew: I have been dating your probation officer for 7 months. Pretty certain he's THE ONE. So, thanks for being a criminal.
You peed in the sink and kept shouting "I'm the black swan! Ca-caw!"
Wow. I want to climb Santa. You've made my mind go places I wasn't prepared to explore.
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