he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
Eric and I got kicked off of karaoke last night. Apparently, singing about masturbation to the tune of "A Whole New World" is not appropriate and definitely frowned upon by the DJ.
Also just realized how inappropriate it looks to other drivers to finish bottles of cheap champagne at stoplights
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
Yeah, the furnace guy just pulled out 4 empty and 1 full beer bottle from the vent. You are no longer allowed over.
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
STDs are my biggest fear, besides whales. They're so fucking big.
Just bought shock top, Trojans, double shots and baby oil. At 8 am. While the lady in front of me bitched about her expired coupons.
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
I made out with drunk Joe Dirt and then put his mullet wig on for him. True Halloween romance.
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