I don't get calzones all look the same but taste so different
I wish i could put a picture of my ass of my resume...that seems to be the only way i will ever get hired
I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
Talk about the highs and lows of a night out: had a threesome, then got robbed at knifepoint.
apparently when the FedEx truck drove by, we tried to chase it down thinking they were delievering a 30 pack...great night.
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
This morning my mouth tasted like fruit trees, battery acid, and magnums. Transferring schools was the best decision Ive ever made.
I feel like I have two modes: Super fuckin high, or super giddy from caffeine. I have learned to accept this.
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
I found a new button on my vibrator, tonight was a success
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
TSA doesn’t allow handcuffs in carryon bags. Super fun they confiscated them in front of my boss and coworker.
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