i jhust puked up my retainher.
he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
You do realize there's a subtle difference between not remembering your outfit from april 17th of last year vs forgetting that last night you undressed in the street and were grabbing every dick you could reach, right?
I woke up at 3am, my head in a toilet, still at the kegger, wearing a random cowboy hat.
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
My mom sucked on that joint like a nipple and she was a fucking newborn
I’m almost positive this girl is drinking a mojito in class right now, if so she’s my new hero
I just overheard an "I'm going to get your dick so hard" conversation at Costco.
With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.
We should probably feel disgusted that we took turns eating and drunkenly passing around a burrito the size of a small dog but i’m ok with it.
I'm so sexually frustrated I feel like I'm going to kill my turtle
Matched with the lumberjack. Here's your wedding invite.
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
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