yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
my periods are so regular now that they are sync-ed with my subscriptions of vogue.
giving yourself 2 days to recover i see
I'll need it. Largely because i'm going to be stumbling through fancy restaurants with a bottle of whiskey insulting couples all night.
just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
i can't remember the last friday i didn't spend in the foetal position
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
This is my transition from small talk texts to booty call texts. Coming over?
Quite the smooth talker. There in 5.
You are not going to get a pat on the back from me for not fucking that 40 year old again.
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
Is this like a preordered booty call?
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
Importance
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
I'm at this party and a blind kid just walked in and asked "where is the fucking pong table"
Enjoy your early 30’s! You’re still young enough to catch a twenty something that can fuck 4 times a day, hot enough to date forty year old penises that can last long enough to give you multiple orgasms
Randomize
