Well I'm going to a gay club in my banana suit. You should come. My bro is going as a pirate. I don't know if there's a theme.
Microwave minutes are longer than normal minutes.
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
I'm soaked in beer, and I think blood. Why did we think we could tap a keg with a hammer?
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
"It's not a date, we're just spending the entire day at a concert and then getting high together." Awesome.
You have found the Promised Land of friend zones
Scary truckers and hobos. These are the men I attract
Was I asleep on the ride home?
Yea, then when I tried to hold your head up on a turn, you round house punched me in the face.
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
Access to a Target is paramount to my general happiness and self-worth.
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
Randomize
