I feel like this woman may give her husband a hand job mid way through dinner. just saying.
sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
My niece just threw up all over me. My sister's breastmilk was on my face. This is like a fucked-up porno gone terribly wrong.
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
He was going down on me as I discovered a spaghetti-O on my boob. Its been a while since I faked it.
He only had napkins in the bathroom... no toilet paper. If I fuck him, am I settling?
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
if i can hear my landlord's phone ring you think be can hear my vibrator?
She literally took off her shirt and ran out of the bar. When she ran back she smashed into the glass door with her face....That's got to be the best way to celebrate your 30th.
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
My yoga ball is now going to be used for actual exercise instead of somewhere to suction cup a dildo
So I was walking to the bathroom and some random dude threw up while walking towards me. He kept eye contact the entire time and didn't stop moving.
Randomize
