i can now get sex on a playground off my list of things to do in life.
My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
He said I was like bonnie and clyde all rolled into one but twice as trashy and 75% less clothes...
He obviously understands you completely.
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
Just got motor boated by a horse in the street
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
I refrained from asking a guy what he spilled on his dick because it smelled good. Morals.
It's called being normal.
I also love beards. The playoffs are like christmas for my vagina.
Dinner at my parents is vodka, lemonade, cheese ad crackers. Why would I leave?
I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date.
Trusting in Jesus is not a viable birth control plan.
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
was having sex but got distracted... he instragramed a pic of his crotch
Randomize
