It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
my facebook is like a giant collection of my one night stands
oh my god i just remembered the cat blow jobs.
she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
Tell her you can forgive her unacceptable behavior because her dad and his dog weren't married when they conceived her.
But please don't judge me if i smell like mustard
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
I just took what could be the most awkward shit in my life, which considering my definition of awkward and my experiences shitting, is pretty fucking awkward.
...
I was sitting there doing my business and the guy in the stall next to me banged on the stall and asked me how to spell picnic because he wasn't sure.
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
Crawl out into the sunshine and off your vibrator for 7 minutes
Your drunk self managed to not pee on anyone's bed
Go me
I'm actually proud
Randomize
