Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
Dude I wish you were here. I'm innthe back seat and it looks like outer space and everything feels like rice. idk. wtf.
I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
Tipsy and thinking of you. Talk tomorrow. My alliteration is awesome.
girls mom is dying from cancer and she msgs me for a booty call. I guess people cope with their situations differently.
i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
The cops knocked on our door just to ask us if we were really having a no-pants party.
Oh my god. He likes it up the butt. But loves womanly support. Omg. Its bad. Its bad. Ive had too much whiskey for this to be ANYthing except bad.
As i was laying there shouting that he dislocated my hip he actually reached his armed around and patted himself on the back
I'm like 80% sure we nearly got arrested because we threw fireworks at a car
You just managed to turn Dr. Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
My mom added me on Snapchat which means I am officially done with Snapchat.
He fucked me while wearing a unicorn horn. I think I have found the one...
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