You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
You were peeing on yourself thinking it was the sprinkler in your yard
The movie was so bad she gave me two blowjobs. Two.
I'm voting my liver organ of the month. The award ceremony is next weekend.
Mike is so stoned. I just heard him quietly mutter to himself "rock a piss" as he walked down the hall to the bathroom
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
Wearing a french maid costume for Halloween sure did help me meet girls
Dude, they all thought you were gay.
No celebraish? But today's the day that Jesus, Bruce Springsteen, and a flock of bald eagles came down from the heavens in fighter jets with electric guitars and M-16s a blazon, saying "Hey America, fuck the Red Coats, it's time to party"
Do you think if i wear this shirt with my bengals boxers this kid will fall out of love with me a little bit because that's what I was going for.
You will bone me until my eyeballs fall out. This is not a request.
THEN YOU WILL NOT GET TO SEE MY TITS TONIGHT OR IN THE NEAR FUTURE YOU HEARTLESS BASTARD
This makes me appreciate being single with no prospects.
Probably going to live on vodka sodas and fireball shots
Hey. You dropped and smashed your road beer in my store last night. Again. And this time you didn't even order anything. You just walked in, yelled "SWEDISH STYLE!" Then lost your beer, looked depressed, and left.
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