Holy shit I just stopped short on route 18 because I thought my gps was saying I had to turn right in 11 feet. After almost hitting the guardrail I realized I had to turn in 11 miles.
Fuck I'm high.
Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
please stop telling ppl youre Alice Cullen when youre drunk
im sober playing flip cup. its like cheating.
We're official. Living with your boyfriend sounds so much better than fucking your roommate.
he put on The Eye of the Tiger while she was in labor.
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
You want to get day drunk this afternoon and watch these guys build a house across the street?
That's the last time I send a mass text invitation to smoke a blunt
maybe if I avoid him long enough we could skip the talking part of "we need to talk"
He came so hard that he yelled what sounded like a spell from Harry Potter.
I like how she'll post a picture on Instagram with her boyfriend and 2 hours later you'll send me a snap of her panties on your rear view mirror
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
I knew she was the one when we had sex to the halo soundtrack.
Randomize
