Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
I just pooped in his toilet and didn't flush...I desperately need to get him past the girls don't poop phase.
I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
She just told me she's too full for a reach-around. Sad.
I just had a vision of confetti exploding out of someone's vagina to the sound of air horns... I think that would be welcoming.
I like the way you think.
I'm gonna let my dick speak for itself from now on. Seriously, it's always recruiting for me even after 6 hours of drinking.
He's both a cowboy and a firefighter. Saying "no" was not an option.
My dad just sent me a text reminding me to bring the family beer pong championship belt. Thanksgiving 2012 just got real
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
Just taking a shit and realized the captain planet theme song is stuck in my head.
there's a 50/50 chance the night will end in alcohol-induced rituals of satanic nature
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
Randomize
