can't come. weird drunk guy passed out on couch. long story, tell u later.
wtf. wake him up, call him a cab, get over here!
i just want to make sure he doesn't die. or rob me. plus it's facinating, he's faceplant on the arm of my sofa.
He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
I set the bag of cheetos on the open box on my coffee table while I was watching TV. I was so high I ate half of the styrofoam peanuts in the box by accident. Am I going to die?
I hope so
names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
At least I'm doing lines with a notecard. That counts for something right
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
we're decorating our christmas cookies with birth control. so pretty.
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
If if makes you feel any better, you're definitely the hottest guy I've ever friendzoned.
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
I think I'm gonna cut my hair just so I stop waking up with semen in it
Every day I wake up and there is no spectacular morning wood waiting for me I get so sad.
Randomize
