I don't remember which guy I met at the bar is coming to pick me up. It will be like my birthday surprise.
still drunk. talking shit to the doc drawing my blood. this has no upside
One question: Why is your trash can full of blood and pop-tarts?
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
You look me right in the eyes and yelled "By the power of the superglue beer sword, I designate you my driver!" I almost felt honored.
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
I'm hiding in the bathroom at the library but there are children here I just want to drunk cry in peace
"This is Emily. She likes potatoes. And sometimes laughs and cries at the same time, and has a wonderful butt"
I think one of my ovaries is committing suicide. But that is a topic for another day.
I tried to suck your dick underwater and almost drowned
He texted "fuck you" before blocking me on all social media. Come to think of it, that's also the last thing my mother said to me. Could it be that I'm the problem?
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
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