I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
Definitely locked eyes with the stripper who gave me a lapdance last night as she walked by me and into the Ann Taylor Loft in Times Square.
rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
Just found out my mom tried to sue the birth control company when she got pregnant with me...love you too mom.
woke up to see a man wearing a sailor hat and covered in vomit sneaking out the door. Epic night indeed.
Oh god iv'e slept with this police officer before oh god oh god
Apparently drinking in your car before going into a sales meeting is frowned upon. We are car sales men not doctors.
I'm seeing double so when I get home can we have a threesome?
You then played what you called "a smooth jazz rendition of talk dirty to me" all thrusting your crotch at the bartender. Mom looked horrified, but my dad couldn't stop laughing
Everyone is coupling up and I'm just excited the bartender gives me enough attention to order more shots.
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
You're the third Mark I've fucked in that bed.
Remember earlier when I was excited about finding that birth control pill in my purse? Definitely acid.
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
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