I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
The guy I wanted to make out with just got beat up, let's roll.
i really regret not blowing your cousin before he went to jail
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
You should be proud. How many people can say they GAVE a stripper an std?
Too lazy to make dinner. Had chocolate and scotch instead. Check in with me in a half hour.
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
She told me she's into girls now. I told her there would be a full bottle of jäger and an empty bed here Friday.
I am his drunk Jesus. I will love him from afar because he's my little lamb
She told me I should be proud of my dick pics, then told me she was in love with me, then I dropped her off at her boyfriend's. I was a new kind of failure tonight.
I'm perplexed as to why anyone on this planet is straight
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
Im sorry for telling you id rather jump into traffic than date you again. I didnt mean to be so rude
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
Randomize
