so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
hey my socially awkward cousin is our designated driver for summer, we just have to put up with her wierd shit.
I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
This girl just introduced herself as Queefer Sutherland. She's on a roller derby team. What. The. Fuck.
He was banging holes in the kitchen wall with pots. They tried to pull him away but only managed to pants him. He kept "drumming".
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
We played strip Bananagrams and I won. Thank fuck I read a lot as a child.
Only I can have a panic attack in the back seat of a cop car and have them move me to the front seat.
STD scares really help you understand the whole six degrees of separation thing...
I may hire someone just to sell my family the drugs they keep asking me for. It's cutting into my doing drugs time.
Guess what I'm doing tonight? Tacos and strip chess.
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
you know its getting late when the "nevers" are turning into "maybe"
So learned a new trick last night.... Taking body shots from my own tits... Mom would be so proud
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