It's a pity Stephen Hawking can't do sarcasm.
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
i mean i should have known that when i started taking shots with my zumba instructor i was in for a rough night...
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
I'm sober enough to question why I have your name as "the wolverine" in my phone.
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
I made her a sippy cup with eggnog and whiskey. My meditation app told me to go the extra mile for someone today, so I did.
Last night was the first and hopefully last night I will ever sleep in a hotel bath tub. Sober mind you.
I'm not even gonna ask.
Also, I'm going to yoga because I have a Taylor Swift range of emotions right now.
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
Mike fell asleep with his hand down my pants. I'm clearly an enticing person.
Randomize
