He asked me if I "almost moaned"
The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
chasing schnapps with beer is a terrible idea. never been drunk at 3PM before. please help please please please please
everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
you almost dropped the shot glass then you thought you were such a hard ass for catching it that you slammed it on the table and broke it
Can you please tell him to stop calling me ma'am? I'm starting to remember what it's like to have self respect
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
I'm gonna fingerblast you when you get off work. Get ready.
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one.
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
I woke up in an ill fitting childs tutu this morning and the shower curtain is knocked down. Wtf happened?
Just in case you blacked out, we had sex, you came in me, we need plan B, we fell off your top bunk, broke your roommates chair, i still like you, but i'm in pain and am going to bed
Can we throw a "death to my 20s" party when I turn 30?
Sure. Funeral attire and hard liquor
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