everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
I'm wearing a shirt that says "birthday girls #1 homo" ...what has my life come to?
Why doesn't the washer have a puke setting?
Just so we're clear this time around: This is dinner with my FAMILY. Not an opportunity for you to drink too much, and use the word "dick-thumpin" in casual conversation.
I slept with an Israeli and a Palestinian in the same day. It feels wrong.
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
We need a fire pit. Meat. And a keg.I mean like a cow we just carve from. And cook it. We can use the milk from the udder to make White Russians
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
It may not have seemed like it to you, but I was very sad that I was cheating on my GF with you. I was crying on the INSIDE.
She made sure everyone knew we were doing shots for her dead grandma.
Seriously. I'm like, "Wait, we are actually talking about physics in the middle of sex and its ACTUALLY erotic because you're so fucking intelligent I'm turned on?"
He dislocated his shoulder trying to finger me last night if that tells you anything
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
My boobs are hoarders, they steal food and hide it. Greedy bitches.
Randomize
