so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
Some guy just yelled at me from his car "CLIIIIIIIIIITT"... I feel like this has something to do with last night....
She just came to my house, with puke in her hair, to wake up my dad and scream "happy fathers day you DILF!" at the top of her lungs
Did i actually sleep there? Or did i just get sand everywhere?
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!!
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
So I went tanning and I burned my boobs.
They're like sad pomegranates.
Oh okay. That's fine. I'll buy us both dinner when you bail me out
It's a post jail date
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
I just googled: how soon can I pee on a stick. What is my life coming to.
I feel like asking for a towel for after I puke before I puke to be more respectful than jus going outside to puke and coming back inside covered in sweat and tears.
Randomize
