Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
On a scale of 1 to last weekend, how hungover are you?
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
Jesus Christ, she just started playing Enya and is humming along to it. Way, way, way too hungover to deal with her shitty taste in music
And on top of all this... he just told me to "chill my nips."
There are some sad choices of men in the ER. That one was missing teeth. Not the place to find a husband.
Lost my virginity dressed as catwoman. He was dressed as batman. Glad I waited.
My head feels like Jesus is projectile vomiting hammers on it
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
My mom comes home from her weekend with her lesbian co-workers and asks "You wanna know how I got these bruises?" I've never been more torn about anything EVER.
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
I’m glad they have a happy marriage but why do they have to inflict it on the rest of us?
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