Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
I can only imagine the horrible things my future wife is doing on spring break right now.
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
if i actually bought condoms for every time i had sex, i could single handedly fix the economy
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
So basically i got outta bed and started peeing on the a/c unit..when my roommate tried to stop me i looked at him and said "i got this"
we're about an hour out, how's the weather?
cloudy with a chance of strippers and cocaine, you're favorite. welcome home.
Guess which frat house I just walked out of! And on a related note... guess who's uncircumsized
Ps I got my nipple pierced. You're just gonna have to accept me for the tool I am and I don't wanna hear any shenanigans.
I'm just gonna wear a long dress with no panties today. My pussy needs a break.
I wish buying curtains was as easy as buying drugs. I already KNOW what I want and what the outcome will be: awesome.
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
I COULD BREAK CONCRETE WITH MY FOOTBALL ERECTION.
I walked into my room last night at 4 am and there's a random dude in his boxers eating oatmeal on my futon. I looked at him and went to bed
Im drunk taking pregnancy tests with this really hot girl...i dont know what is happening
Randomize
