sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
His facebook status is an owl city song. I'm so glad i didn't end up fucking him.
After the sixth shot I started to slur my pauses.
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
Just found a wrench in the washing machine. Sooo not doing your laundry anymore.
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
I need to mount that unicorn and turn him into a full blown steed.
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
Also, there's a guy walking around the kitchen in a shark onzie, and he just asked if we've ever smoked weed with a shark before. I'm dying
Pretty sure the waitress here is concerned about well being bc I've been here drinking by myself for 3 hours. If only I could show here FB so she'd know I'm not alone...
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
Randomize
