Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
I told her I was team Edward. I haven't gotten laid that easy since I told your sister that I had cancer
we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
a search helicopter?!
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
I woke up next to her will a oven mit taped to my cock. Dear god, I might have tried to use it as a condom.
I just woke up to three voicemails from you. In the first one you just straight laughed for 3 minutes. In the second you did bird calls. In the third you were hysterically crying. Have fun last night?
On the back of that comment, I've formed a theory that as a result of my brainwashing your drunk self actually believes that beards are your calling.
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
Dude I had sex with her and she STILL thinks I'm gay. I don't know what else to do.
Hahah I’ve never had someone stop me mid-coitus to tell me how amazing I am. Def ego boost.
Randomize
