I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
This guy told us that for a dollar and two cigarettes he'd let Megan stomp on his crotch. We were gonna refuse, but we figured someone had to keep him from passing his stupid genes along.
OMFG I JUST SAW SOMEONE GIVING SOMEONE ELSE ROAD HEAD AND THEY HIT A POTHOLE. my day has been officially made.
he's legally blind and likes the sound of my voice, good enough for me.
You made eat vitamins until I threw up
Escaped ambulance. Meet me at your apartment.
I knew it was going to be a good night when i heard another girl call his dick "Thor's Hammer"
SHE WON'T ROUND UP MY GRADE! I have a 79.8% I ONLY MISSED TWO CLASSES!!! ONE WHEN I GOT DRUGGED AND ONE WHEN MY CAR GOT BROKEN INTO!! I'm interculturally competent. I used to date a Italian/Cherokee Indian. I fucked a Palestinian. How much more pro-peace can you get?
i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream
You can't just leave with hair like that
Can you please venmo me emergency money? i have no pants.
So you can text and rub it at the same time? Bravo.
I can do anything and masturbate, if I truly wanted to.
The cop busted in, made the music stop, and goes "GUYS LISTEN UP! DRINK, DO DRUGS, HAVE UNPROTECTED SEX, I DONT GIVE A FUCK, JUST QUIET DOWN!" Best. Cop. Ever.
avocado toast wont fix the fact you did a bunch of blow you fucking hipster
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