You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
Then I received a text in French, that roughly translated to "all you'll ever be good for is sex on the Internet"
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
Oh we're fine. I made her a "sorry I peed on you" omelet.
captain&coke to the library. STAT. this is an emergency. this is not a drill. I repeat: THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
Imagine getting smashed in the dick by a basketball. A basketball made of metal. With spikes. That's pretty much what his dick looked like.
Cat. Why do you sit on things I need to use.
Because it is cat.
We took vodka shots. You kept saying it was the key to your heart.
Well, personally I like to keep my blackmail in well organised folders.
Just shaved my balls on a moving train. By far the most dangerous stunt I've ever pulled
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