Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
All my problems are solved. I just got McDonalds and scratch off lottery tickets.
life is all about the fine print - all i wanted was a fucking pony.
dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
turns out making maccaroni and cheese with whipped cream instead of butter is only good when your high
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
she "accidentally" hit me with her car, its almost as if she know im fucking her boyfriend.
I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.
The best part about drinking boxed wine is you can blow up the bag and use it as a pillow
I didn't realize how drunk I was until my vagina was in the snow.
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
Everything was going well until he very loudly said that he wanted to cum on my fingernails.
He stopped mid-fuck to explain his choice in pillows. HE WAS STILL IN ME!
Pregaming at Jodi's. Ten minutes
Thought it was at Brad's?
Pregaming the pregame. Need alcohol before I can see that dick.
I have a mailbox and I don't know why.
Randomize
