it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
I found the TV remote. It was in the washing machine along with the chicken wings you kept complaining to Domino's about that they 'never delivered'
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
Well I woke up with a note on me reading Dear Passed Out Girl, and ending with why I shouldn't drink so much. Damn Tequilla.
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
This drunk lesbian I just met keeps trying to shove sushi in my mouth. Help.
Would you like to get an apartment bong? It can be like our pet and we can give it a name.
I just got a lecture from your coked out sister about the monetary value of Dothraki hair braids. Take her home.
bitch i am allowed to be rude i just fought cold hard porcelain with my face
Being hungover in this office is the actual worst. Like they look at me and know I was wasted at 1 am, karaokeing Billy Idol at a gay bar.
Guess who has two thumbs and broke her boyfriends dick?
My mum just told me to stop being so pathetic and just find someone to have sex with, even if I don't like them, just be grateful for the sex. Wow.
You do realize last night you asked me if shampoo had an expiration date then cried for 15 mins when I told you it did
Got any extra dick over there? I’m running low
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